Bricklayers accident report

 
Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accidentreport, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalentof the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guydied, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure...
Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request foradditional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put"poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fullerexplanation and trust the following details will be sufficient. I am abricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone onthe roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I foundthat I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found tobe slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in abarrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the buildingon the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to theroof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I wentdown and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure the slow descentof the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form thatI weigh 175 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground sosuddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which wasnow proceeding downward at an equally, impressive speed. Thisexplained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone,as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly,I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my righthand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time Ihad regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to therope, in spite of beginning to experiencea great deal of pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrelof bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Nowdevoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapiddescent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the thirdfloor I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fracturedankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrelseemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pileof bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry toreport, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable tomove, I again lost my composure and presence of mindand let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginits journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

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